25+ Shocking Responses to Low Ball Offer on House That Work

Ever had someone hit you with a low ball offer on the house and thought, Wait, did they really just say that? If you’re like me, dealing with these moments can be equal parts awkward and hilarious.
When you’re selling your home or just curious about the wild world of real estate banter, knowing some shocking responses to low ball offers on house work can totally flip the script.

Imagine replying with funny pronoun responses or tossing out creative pronoun ideas that leave the buyer speechless or maybe even laughing! Unique pronoun comebacks and humorous pronoun replies aren’t just funny, they can be your secret weapon to keep negotiations light yet effective.

Ready to turn those awkward offers into memorable moments? Stick around, and I’ll share some clever lines that really work. Got your own funny comeback? I love a good story!

Funny Responses to Low Ball Offer on House

• I think you accidentally moved the decimal point one place to the left!
  
• Oh, is this offer for the garden shed out back?
  
• Are we starting the bidding with monopoly money first?
  
• That’s a great starting point if this were a yard sale!
  
• Did your calculator run out of batteries while you were coming up with that number?
  
• I appreciate the humor in this offer. Now let’s talk about real numbers.
  
• Looks like we have a budding comedian here!
  
• Wow, that’s generous for an alternate universe maybe?
  
• I’m not sure when to laugh or to send a counteroffer written in invisible ink.
  
• This must be the ‘before renovation’ offer, right?
  
• Ah, playing hardball, I see! How about we meet in reality?
  
• You’re clearly a fan of fiction. Have you considered writing novels?
  
• That’s a historic figure!
  
• Let’s put a zero where it makes more sense, shall we?
  
• I assume the real offer is coming after this joke?
  
• This offer has inspired me to write a book on the art of negotiation.
  
• Are we testing the waters, or is this a new ice bucket challenge?
  
• That offer would have been perfect during the last century.
  
• Let’s call that a warm-up offer and start the real game now.
  
• Is this an opening bid or a magic trick?
  
• Is this offer based on square footage or square nonsense?
  
• That number belongs in a museum, the hall of low offers!
  
• I didn’t know we were negotiating with Monopoly rules today.
  
• That offer’s got me checking if you’re bidding on a dollhouse.
  
• Is your agent using a crystal ball or just guessing wildly?

I think you accidentally moved the decimal point one place to the left!

This line is a gentle but effective nudge at how ridiculously low the offer is. It’s funny without being too harsh and plays on the logic of numbers in a relatable way.

Use it when you want to maintain a cool tone but still show that the offer was way off the mark. Especially effective over text or email where tone might get lost.

Example
Hmm, I think your offer is missing a zero. Did your keyboard glitch?
That’s a nice number… if we were selling a parking spot.

Oh, is this offer for the garden shed out back?

This playful jab shifts the focus to something much less valuable, making the lowball look even more absurd. It’s humorous while subtly calling out the insult.

Perfect in informal chats or when you’re dealing with someone who seems unserious or clearly fishing for a bargain.

Example
Appreciate the offer! Just to clarify, you meant the shed, right?
Was that number for the whole house or just the backyard swing?

Are we starting the bidding with monopoly money first?

This one leans into sarcasm and nostalgia, comparing the low offer to a game. It’s a light and witty way to call attention to how unrealistic the number is.

Great in humorous exchanges, especially if the buyer seems playful or open to banter.

Example
Cute. Should I throw in a Get Out of Jail Free card too?
If Monopoly rules apply, I’ll counter with Boardwalk prices.

That’s a great starting point if this were a yard sale!

This one works because it compares the house to something far less valuable. It’s a casual, down-to-earth way to highlight how off-base the offer is.

Best used in face-to-face or casual settings where a little sass will be appreciated without causing offense.

Example
You’re a bit off this isn’t a folding table of trinkets.
At this price, I’ll throw in a slightly used lawn chair and a garden gnome.

Did your calculator run out of batteries while you were coming up with that number?

A smart blend of wit and sarcasm, this line teases the idea that the buyer must’ve miscalculated. It makes your point with humor and keeps things light.

Use it when you’re emailing or texting and want to keep the negotiation playful but firm.

Example
Want me to lend you a calculator that works?
Maybe check your math one more time. mine looks a little different.

I appreciate the humor in this offer. Now let’s talk about real numbers.

This one is disarming and shifts the conversation toward a more serious tone while still acknowledging the ridiculousness of the offer.

Best for keeping things respectful but setting boundaries when you’re ready to negotiate for real.

Example
That was good for a laugh now, shall we get serious?
Appreciate the chuckle, but here’s what I’m really expecting.

Looks like we have a budding comedian here!

This is a friendly tease that adds a touch of personality to your response. It shows you’re unfazed and quick-witted, which can earn respect.

Great for text or in-person reactions when you want to steer the conversation without sounding defensive.

Example
You should take this act on the road but let’s bring the offer back home.
Love the humor, now let’s try for a standing ovation-worthy bid.

Wow, that’s generous for an alternate universe maybe?

This one is cheeky and fun, implying the offer might make sense somewhere just not here. It’s a humorous way to highlight how out of touch the offer is.

Use when you’re comfortable being a little sarcastic, especially in friendly or familiar negotiations.

Example
In a galaxy far, far away, this would be a deal.
Appreciate the sci-fi pricing, but let’s come back to Earth.

 Witty Replies to Man Up That Win Every Time

I’m not sure when to laugh or to send a counteroffer written in invisible ink.

This witty remark adds some mystery and creativity. It’s lighthearted and imaginative, making your point while keeping things playful.

Perfect for written responses where you want to be memorable and spark a smile.

Example
Not sure if I should counter or just send a blank contract back.
Invisible ink might be too generous for that offer.

This must be the ‘before renovation’ offer, right?

A clever way to reference the actual value of improvements made. This makes the lowball seem outdated and out of touch with the home’s current worth.

Great for reminding buyers of the effort and investment put into the home.

Example
I assume this is before the new kitchen and floors?
If this is pre-upgrade pricing, you’re a few years too late.

Ah, playing hardball, I see! How about we meet in reality?

This shows you understand negotiation tactics but keeps the conversation grounded. It’s confident without being aggressive.

Use when the buyer is clearly trying to play the game but you want to keep it fair.

Example
Nice pitch, but let’s bring the ball back to the field.
Respect the strategy now let’s land somewhere closer to actual value.

You’re clearly a fan of fiction. Have you considered writing novels?

This sharp but friendly response lets the buyer know their offer feels imaginary. It’s witty, original, and disarms the situation with humor.

Perfect for emails or texts when you want to respond smartly without closing the door completely.

Example
Your imagination is impressive. Got any fantasy titles coming out soon?
If I wanted fiction, I’d be on a beach reading a paperback.

That’s a historic figure!

This response leans into playful sarcasm by implying the offer is so outdated, it belongs in the history books. It’s a lighthearted way to spotlight how unrealistic the number is without sounding harsh.

Use it when the offer is so low it feels ancient. It works especially well in informal conversations and gives off confident but humorous energy.

Example
That number feels like it’s straight out of 1925.
Thanks for the blast from the past now what’s the real offer?

Let’s put a zero where it makes more sense, shall we?

This one is witty and direct. By suggesting a simple fix, you highlight how low the offer is without being too confrontational. It also invites a more reasonable conversation.

Great for email replies or casual texts where you want to redirect the negotiation toward reality.

Example
Quick math tip: just add a zero and we’ll be in the right ballpark.
I think we’re one digit away from a serious chat.

I assume the real offer is coming after this joke?

This one’s perfect for calling out an offer that feels more like a prank than a proposal. It’s cheeky and clear, all while keeping a smile in the tone.

Use it when you want to acknowledge the lowball without sounding offended or closed off.

Example
Okay, I laughed, now hit me with the real number.
Great warm-up. Now let’s get serious.

This offer has inspired me to write a book on the art of negotiation.

Here’s a smart and creative way to call attention to how entertaining the offer is. It’s ideal for showing that you’re not only amused but also seasoned enough to recognize negotiation tactics.

Perfect when you want to inject some personality and wit into a longer message or follow-up.

Example
Chapter one: How Not to Open a Deal.
Thanks for the inspirationI’ll dedicate a chapter to this moment.

Are we testing the waters, or is this a new ice bucket challenge?

This one uses a fun metaphor to question when the buyer is just poking around or trying something bold. It’s current, relatable, and slightly dramatic in a fun way.

Great in conversations where you want to call out a low offer without shutting the door on future negotiations.

Example
Testing the waters is fine, but this one’s ice cold.
Refreshing, yes but not quite the splash I expected.

That offer would have been perfect during the last century.

This one is gold when you want to highlight how outdated the offer feels. It gently mocks the number while keeping the tone friendly.

Use when you’re talking to someone who might appreciate a clever jab over a cold rejection.

Example
Love that number for a 1900s listing.
Back then, maybe. Today? Not so much.

Let’s call that a warm-up offer and start the real game now.

This is one of those phrases that keeps the mood upbeat while making it clear the real negotiation hasn’t started yet. It’s motivational and smooth.

Use when you want to nudge the buyer toward seriousness without being dismissive.

Example
Nice stretch now let’s get into the actual round.
Good opener! Let’s see your real move now.

Is this an opening bid or a magic trick?

This witty one-liner brings in a sense of showmanship. It suggests that the offer is so surprising, it almost feels like an illusion.

Perfect for light-hearted negotiations where you want to challenge the buyer with a bit of sparkle.

Example
If this is a trick, I’m waiting for the reveal.
Nice sleight of hand, what’s next?

Is this offer based on square footage or square nonsense?

Here’s a bold one with a clever play on real estate lingo. It directly questions the logic behind the number while keeping things amusing.

Use when the buyer’s reasoning seems completely off and you want to call it out creatively.

Example
At this rate, you’re paying by the square foot of imagination.
Sounds like someone measured in fairy tale acres.

That number belongs in a museum, the hall of low offers!

This exaggeration adds a dramatic and funny touch. It frames the offer as a piece of history, worthy of display for how shockingly low it is.

Great for use in text or verbal exchanges when you’re reacting in the moment.

Example
Should I donate this to the Smithsonian of negotiations?
I’ll be sure to frame this for future sellers to enjoy.

Best Responding to My Head Hurts with Humor

I didn’t know we were negotiating with Monopoly rules today.

This one connects instantly with anyone who’s played the classic board game. It’s nostalgic and playful, making it ideal for breaking the tension.

Use it when the offer is just so off-base, humor is the best way to handle it.

Example
Do I collect $200 every time I pass this conversation?
If you’re paying in Monopoly money, I’m countering with Play-Doh.

That offer’s got me checking if you’re bidding on a dollhouse.

This humorous jab keeps things playful while making it very clear the offer doesn’t match the actual value. It brings imagery and fun into the mix.

Best used when you want to emphasize how low the bid is without being rude.

Example
That’ll barely cover the toy furniture.
Oh, this is for the miniature version, right?

Is your agent using a crystal ball or just guessing wildly?

This one targets the source of the offer with gentle skepticism. It’s quirky and fun while calling out poor estimation.

Great for keeping negotiations lively and hinting at the need for a reality check.

Example
I’d love to borrow that crystal ball for my next decision.
If guessing wildly is the strategy, I’ve got some dice you can use.

Conclusion 

Wrapping up, I hope you had as much fun reading these shocking responses to low ball offers on house as I did putting them together. Negotiating can be stressful, but adding a bit of humor, wit, and smart phrasing can totally shift the vibe and sometimes even the outcome. From playful banter to clever pronoun comebacks, using NLP-friendly communication and creative language tactics helps you stay in control while keeping things friendly.

Did any of these humorous negotiation replies make you laugh or remind you of your own experiences? I’d love to hear your favorite comeback or even better, one you’ve used in real life! Drop your thoughts or stories in the comment box below. If you liked this post, let me know I’m already brainstorming a new one packed with more real estate response strategies and fun seller tips just for you.